It seems these days that we are going through a bit of an epidemic, the Cheating Spouse Syndrome. We don't see the signs of the cheating Spouse early enough and then how often do we hear that Jeannie X has gone off with Robert Y and wondered how we never saw it coming.
Well, it's quite simple really. People are generally very trusting of each other. We like to think the best of our friends and neighbours (well, most neighbours anyway) and don't really contemplate that they are going to "harm" us in any way and then "wham! Bang!" your best "Friend" is now going out with your Husband.
It's ironic, it's usually somebody close to you or someone in your circle that you know about but would never dream of being so capable as to take your man. Well believe it- there are some folks out there who really believe in the saying that "all's fair in Love and War" and put it into practice!
So, OK are there signs of the cheating spouse that are easy to identify and pretty unmistakable? Yes there are and if you're reading this article - you definitely have a suspicion that you have a cheating Spouse or at least you are inquisitive to find out what the "warning signs" are for future reference.
To find out if you have a cheating Spouse you may not need to hire an expensive private investigator nor invest in expensive surveillance equipment - as a starter you should look for quite obvious signs of the cheating Spouse.
First of all let's take a look at some of the critical signs that will alert you to whether or not you have a cheating Spouse
1. Habits change - He/She is coming home at odd times and neither offers or gives a rational explanation.
2. He/She starts telling lies without a reason.
3. He/She starts to buy a new wardrobe.
4. The spending patterns change - more money than usual going out as well!
5. He/She starts exercising - going to the Gym, often at "odd" times.
6. He/she starts a new diet and shows much greater attention to personal appearance all of a sudden.
7. He/She starts changing their driving patterns.
8. Lastly but not least, your spouse doesn't seem interested in "you". There's always something else to do rather than "talk"!
OK, so now you have got past the signs that your spouse is cheating and you're convinced that something is amiss - now let's see how to catch a cheating Spouse.
5 useful Tips
Tip #1 - Don't Panic
The first thing to do is not to Panic! Yes - don't panic - it's the worst thing you could possibly do. Act like an observer whilst continuing to treat your Spouse as you had beforehand. Let your Spouse show his/her cheating behaviour.
Tip #2 - Keep a Record
Now that you have your suspicions confirmed. Write down what you find for example phone calls, emails, absences and keep your journal hidden. Don't think of it as spying on your Spouse, think of it as information gathering. When it's down in black and white it's hard for your cheating Spouse to deny the patterns and lies.
It's important not to jump to conclusions from the outset, as mistakes can be made. At this stage it is also good to exercise caution. Remember to treat your Spouse as you have always done to avoid suspicion and an initiation on your spouses behalf of "covering their tracks" making your task all the harder.
Tip #3 - Remain Cool and Calm
Restrain temptation to have an "all out fight" at this stage as it will get you nowhere. Calmly- amass the evidence from the behaviour then "plan" your "outing of the affair". At this stage you will have the evidence!
Tip #4 - A Word of Caution
Do not confront your cheating Spouse if for example your husband has a history of aggression towards yourself and your children. If that is the case then leave the detective work to someone who is professional in the field.
Tip #5 - Plan for the Consequences.
OK so now you have seen the signs of the cheating Spouse - a record has been kept and he/she has admitted the Affair. What Next? Well my friend that is a question you are best placed to Answer!
Suggestion #1
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About the AuthorAbout the Author:Peter Burke MBA has been writing Journals and Articles for academic publications for over 7 years and is Managing Director of a Consulting Company in the United Kingdom. He is currently writing a book on how a marriage can survive the stress of a business start up.